Lost and Found
by Kateniss
Summary: After tragedy rocks Samcro, Jax must set aside his suspicions and join forces with Opie's younger sister to keep the Winston household together. As they work to help heal Opie and his kids, Jax and Allie must not only confront their long-dormant feelings for each other, but their places within the club and Charming too.


**A/N-So, before anyone panics, "Carry You Home" will absolutely continue. There's no way I would ever abandon that story or Isabelle. After doing some research, I realized that one of the major plot points I had outlined just isn't realistic, so I'm in the process of doing more research to smooth out the the wrinkle I created for myself. I'm thinking I'll probably have the next chapter ready sometime next week, so no worries!**

**That being said, this story and Allie have been stuck in my head since the beginning of last summer and I figured it was time to finally start writing it. This is actually a rewrite/reboot of the story I posted last August, but took down because I had no idea where I was going with it. With this one, I know exactly where it's going and the backstory of the original is still the same. I'm really excited to tackle a very different OC and love interest for Jax and hope that you guys are willing to give Allie, and this story, a chance!**

* * *

The Winston household was eerily silent. What was normally a boisterous, happy, and bustling atmosphere was now leaden with heaviness, guilt, and despair. That weariness was painfully evident the second Allie flew into her brother's house. But none of that concerned to her at the moment. Not the fact that her sister-in-law had just been gunned down in the middle of a street. Not the fact that she'd gotten the call in the middle of the night and had literally tripped out of bed to get here. Not the fact that coming home to Charming also meant unearthing demons that were better left buried deep in the ground.

Her primary concern was her brother. And her niece and nephew.

She just had to get to them. There had been no time to ruminate on the loss, no time to think about what life without Donna would mean for all of them. Definitely no time to think about what was waiting for her in Charming...or rather, who.

So, she didn't pay any attention to the devil incarnate perched from a chair in her brother's living room and the monster attached to the oxygen tank across from when she stepped into the house. Her father looked visibly startled to see her while Mary's eyes narrowed, but none of that mattered. Allie barely glanced at either of them, instead focusing her attention on getting herself down the hall.

When Opie had called her a few hours ago, she wouldn't have recognized his voice if not for the caller id. He'd just sounded so desperate, so hollow...so dead.

_"Please, Al,"_ his hoarse voice had choked through the phone. _"I don't know what to do…"_

A sob strangled in her throat just at the memory and she immediately shook herself out of it. There would be a time when she could allow herself to grieve for Donna, but now was not that time. Three other, more important people were already grieving and she needed to pull her shit together before facing them. She squeezed her eyes shut for a moment and then, with a heavy exhale, gently pushed the door open to her brother's bedroom.

Opie was seated on the floor with his back propped up against the end of the bed and his legs splayed out in front of him. His eyes barely flicked up at the movement at the door, barely seemed cognizant of just about anything. His face was ashen, vacant of all emotion, and after his eyes shut for a second, he lifted his gaze up to the doorway. It seemed to take him a moment to even realize she was standing there and that was enough time for Allie to close the distance between them.

She sank to her knees in front of him and reached for his hand. Her throat tightened as she desperately fought against the tears that burned in her eyes. Seeing her cry was the absolute last thing Opie needed right now. He needed her to be strong for him...like he'd been strong for her too many times before. Squeezing his hand, she pushed a faint smile across her lips, grateful that he finally seemed to recognize she was there.

"Hey, brother," she whispered and squeezed his hand again.

The left corner of his lips turned up at the sentimental greeting she'd used on him since she was a child and another sob choked in her throat.

"Hey, cat," he breathed and she couldn't help but smile at the familiar nickname.

Now that the initial acknowledges were over, she wasn't really sure where they went from here. What could she possibly say to him that would matter? That would make a difference? There wasn't anything she could ever say or do that could take away the pain, the anguish, and the despair he had to be feeling.

So, she did the only thing she knew might give him an ounce of comfort, pivoting on her right foot, and slid down until she was seated shoulder to shoulder with her big brother. Then she leaned her head down until it rested carefully against his left shoulder. Never in a million years did she ever fathom they'd be here like this now. And as her tired eyes roamed around the still bedroom, Donna lingered everywhere. There was a pair of cotton pajamas strewn over the armchair in the corner, a pair of earrings left out on the nightstand...all fragments of an ordinary life that on any other day would be completely insignificant.

This morning, though, even the smallest of details stood out. Donna was gone, but the pieces of the life she'd lived in this house remained. It just wasn't fair.

She didn't know how long they sat there like that when she remembered that there were two other people who needed her right now too. Besides, she knew him well enough to know that what he probably wanted more than anything right now was a little solitude.

"I'm gonna go check on the kids, okay?" she murmured. "I'll be right back."

Opie's chin dipped down in an almost imperceptible nod and as she stood up on shaky legs, his hands grazed lightly over hers to give it a quick squeeze. His tortured brown eyes stared up at her, saying everything he couldn't find the words to express, and she knew what he meant. They'd always had this way of silently communicating what needed to be said and this was no exception.

She pressed a pained smile on her face and bit back her tears. Not wanting to waste another moment away from her niece and nephew, she quickly shut the door behind her to step out into the hallway, stopping in front of the first door. Knocking lightly on Ellie's door, she gingerly pushed the door open. What she found made her heart plummet into her stomach.

Ellie and Kenny were huddled together underneath the covers with Ellie's arms wrapped protectively around her little brother. Their faces were lacking the vacant, near-emotionless expression she'd found on their father's face and instead, every emotion was etched devastatingly across their faces. Desolation. Disbelief. Drained. Destroyed.

If her heart hadn't shattered into a million pieces at the first glimpse of her brother, seeing her niece and nephew pulverized what was left of it.

"Auntie Allie?" Ellie's distant, agonized voice called out to her.

Allie forced a smile and started moving towards the bed. "Hi guys...is it okay if I sit down?"

Ellie nodded almost immediately and she didn't hesitate to cross the short distance from the doorway to the twin-sized bed where her niece and nephew were curled up together under the covers. When she sank down onto the mattress, Ellie's head fell down into her shoulder and she wrapped an arm around both of them to pull them into an awkward hug.

A few moments passed and she knew she had to say something. They weren't the same as Ope, where silence meant more than meaningless words. Her eight-year-old niece and her six-year-old nephew needed more than that. They needed someone to tell them that everything was going to be alright, even if it wasn't, because they were just kids and deserved more than her silence.

She squeezed her eyes shut to suppress the flash of anger that surged through her. What the fuck were her dad and Mary thinking leaving them alone like this? She could understand why they'd left Ope to himself, but what had possessed them to think it was okay to leave the kids? They were just sitting in the living room, probably staring each other down like the petulant, petty children they were. All they fucking cared about was themselves...it was infuriating to see that some things really did never change.

Still, the idiocy of her dad and his ex-wife would just have to be ignored for now. She'd learned long ago that she was never going to win with either of them anyways. There was no point in fighting, especially not now.

"Do you guys need anything?" she started softly, hoping that there was something she could do to give them a little relief, if only for a moment. "Are you hungry? Do you want something to drink?"

Ellie shook her head quietly and finally, Kenny shifted his gaze to her with wide, somber brown eyes.

"When is Uncle Jax coming back, Auntie Allie? He said he would be right back, but he's not here yet," he whispered, his voice achingly haunted.

The mention of her brother's lifelong best friend gave her a moment's pause; she hadn't realized he'd been here at all, but then again, his best friend's wife just died-why wouldn't he be?

"I don't know, Ken. I just got here, so I'm not sure when he's coming back."

"He went to the clubhouse for a little while," Ellie informed her with a hushed voice.

Allie nodded with a sad smile. "Well, if he said he'd come back, then I'm sure he will as soon as he can."

Kenny nodded dejectedly and buried his face in Ellie's shoulder again. Allie swallowed back another sob and turned her face away so the kids wouldn't see her blink back her tears. They sat there like that, with all three huddled up under the covers together, until there was a faint knock on the door. A beat later, Jax's blonde head poked out from around the door and Allie felt her heart stutter in her chest. His ocean-blue eyes widened for a split second when they dropped on her, but he recovered quickly as he ventured further into Ellie's bedroom.

"Hey guys," Jax called out softly, rubbing his hands on his jeans as he drew closer.

At the sound of his voice, Kenny snapped out of the momentary freeze he'd sunken into and launched himself at Jax. He caught him easily and wrapped his arms around the boy who clung to him so tightly, sinking down onto the mattress with his back propped up against the wall just a few feet away from where Allie and Ellie sat. Jax shot her a grim smile in greeting and she was grateful that he still hadn't spoken directly to her, which meant she still had a few more moments of level-headedness.

Over the years, she'd perfected the ability to mask how he affected her, but his voice was always her downfall. That silky huskiness was only sexy on him and she was ashamed to admit that her walls came crashing down the second it was directed at her. She'd only been 16 when she'd first realized that Samcro's prince was just as devastatingly addictive as he was out of reach, but it was a lesson she'd never forgotten. And it was definitely one she needed to remember now.

So, she smiled back and ignored the way her heart back-flipped into her stomach, drawing Ellie even closer to her. It was so inappropriate to be feeling this way it wasn't funny, but suddenly, she was sixteen again and quickly sliding back into old, self-destructive habits. Forgetting these butterflies currently using her stomach as a trampoline had gradually gotten easier as she'd gotten older, especially after her eighteenth birthday, when she'd moved away from Charming for good. Jax hadn't been the deciding factor in her exodus from Charming-the two assholes in the living room had more to do with that than he did-but she'd be lying to herself if she said he wasn't a small factor.

After 15 years of living in an environment where her father couldn't stand to look at her and his wife didn't hesitate to call her a home-wrecking delinquent, among other things, no one had batted an eye when she'd moved out and as far as she could tell, the only ones who'd really cared that she was leaving Charming altogether were Opie, Donna, and the kids. Her brother was her only true ally in that household and even after he moved into the clubhouse, after he and Jax patched into the club, he still defended her, and he still had her back. The problem was that without Opie there to act as a buffer between her and the people who were supposed to be her parents, she'd completely gone off the deep-end. In almost every way, she was lucky to be alive and even luckier that she'd escaped that house with her sanity still intact.

In reality, Opie only really knew half of what she'd lived through, both self-inflicted and otherwise, and she'd never seen the necessity to make him feel worse about her childhood than he already did. He'd done everything he could to make her feel wanted and loved and important and that was why the fierce loyalty she'd always had for him would never die. That was exactly why she hadn't hesitated to sprint out of bed last night and speed from her tiny apartment in Oakland back to Charming in her beat-up Corolla.

Still, as she glanced over at Jax, her eyes widened when she realized he was observing her with soft, almost tender blue eyes. Seeing him be so sweet and attentive to her nephew definitely wasn't doing her willpower any favors either. The last time she'd seen him was six months ago at Ellie's birthday party and so her immunity had worn a little thin since then. Of course, he'd also been there with his pregnant wife, so it was easier than usual to push down that familiar fluttering in her stomach when she saw him. She had a feeling she was going to have to exercise those well-honed acting skills she'd learned long ago. Letting her weaknesses get the best of her, especially where her brother's best friend was concerned, was selfish and wouldn't help the people who needed her right now.

They stayed there, with Kenny buried in Jax's arms and Ellie leaning into Allie, until both kids' eyes drifted closed. Jax gestured with his head towards Ellie as he gingerly lifted Kenny out of his arms and set him down on a nearby pillow. Catching his intention, Allie gently unwound her arm from around Ellie's shoulders and laid her back on the pillow next to her little brother. By the time she pushed herself up from Ellie's bed, Jax was already waiting for her by the door.

The door groaned when he pulled it back open and Jax glanced over his shoulder to make sure he hadn't woken up either of the kids. He smiled sadly at her when he shifted back towards the hallway and held the door open for her to pass through. After Jax pulled it shut again, careful to make as little noise as possible, he turned to face her with the same eyes that had pulled her in every time they were leveled on her, rendering her completely powerless.

"Hey, Al," he murmured, his eyes warm and tender with a hint of affection that threw her completely off-balance.

And even though she'd trained herself to be in control around him, it was still took some effort not to wince at the familiar nickname. She'd told him once that Al was a boy's name and he'd just laughed and ruffled her hair before replying, "sure, Al". It was just one more reminder that she would forever be his best friend's kid sister. He'd always seen her that way, even now when she was 27 and clearly not a kid anymore. That nickname was just further evidence of a heartache she'd never quite been able to shake.

"Hey, Jax," she whispered back.

"How you doin', Al?"

She knew the question was intended to rhetorical, but she still couldn't help the choked, bitter laugh that escaped her throat. "I guess I've been better…"

The left side of his lips curved up and he tugged a hand through his hair as he stepped a little closer to her. "I'm glad you're here...I was gonna call you, but I guess Ope beat me to the punch, huh?"

"It's okay, Jax; it doesn't matter," she sighed. "What happened? All Ope told me was that she got shot. How…"

She trailed off, unable to finish that last sentence. Charming, or more specifically, Samcro, bred this type of violent atmosphere. This was the norm, wasn't it? But the only real difference was that this type of violence usually meant a different kind of blood in the streets, not someone who didn't deserve it, not someone who had nothing to do with the shady business Samcro was involved with. Not an innocent mother of two, who had the misfortune of marrying into this violence.

"It's complicated, Al," Jax shrugged, shaking his head as if he couldn't believe it himself. "Look, I can't get into the details right now, but after all this settles down a little, I'll tell you what I can, okay?"

If that was the best he could do, then he needed to do better. Her sister-in-law just got shot down in the street and that was the answer she got? She stared up at him with hard eyes and crossed her arms over her chest. Despite their significant height difference, he shifted anxiously under the weight of her glare and rubbed a hand over his mouth.

"She was leavin' Abel's homecoming party and all we know is that witnesses said they saw a truck pull up next to her and fire," Jax pushed out roughly and glanced over his shoulder again to make sure no one sensitive to that information was behind him. "We don't know who or why, but we've obviously got some ideas...that's why I was at the clubhouse before. We're tryin' to get all the information we can."

She nodded, setting aside the mention of Abel, and sighed heavily. Someday soon, he would have to tell her more, but for today, that was enough.

"Okay," she murmured hoarsely.

He gestured with his head towards the end of the hallway with a twisted grin. "I guess we should probably head out there and see what we gotta do next, huh?"

Allie grimaced and squeezed her eyes shut at the mention of the assholes who'd raised her. Jax laughed softly and threw an arm around her shoulders. This was a gesture she'd been on the receiving end of countless times and really, by now, she should be used to it. Still, she couldn't stop the shiver that passed from where he was touching her all the way down to her toes.

"Come on, Al," he cast her a sideways glance as he spoke. "I'm not gonna throw ya to the wolves, a'ight?"

_Right_, she thought bitterly, _because God knows they can bite._

And even though his nearness could so easily threaten her grasp on control, she knew she'd have to cling to his presence now. That was the only fucking way she was going to get through having to be in the same room as her dad and Mary without screaming.

So when they sank down onto the couch, she was overwhelmingly grateful that she didn't have to do this alone. Just being in same room as one of them was trying enough, but both of them...that was complete torture. Mary narrowed her black daggers for eyes directly on her and she was already wishing the couch would just swallow her whole. She'd lost count of how many times she'd sat across from her dad and Mary, with them staring at her like this now and berating her for things she did or didn't do.

"Nice to see you too, Alexandra," Mary called out to her and Allie bristled just at the sound of her voice.

Jax leaned forward, ignoring the child in the room, and glanced at her out of the corner of his eye before directly his attention back to them. "Has anyone called Donna's parents yet?"

Mary huffed from her perch on the chair across from her, squinting her beady eyes at them. "I've been sitting here, worried sick about my grandchildren. When was I supposed to just drop everything and call people I don't even know?"

Allie bit down on her bottom lip to keep from telling Mary that all she'd been doing was sitting on her fat ass while her grandchildren grieved alone, but she was never going to win that battle, even if she was right.

Thankfully, Jax laughed mirthlessly next to her and shook his head. "You're jokin', right?"

Mary opened her mouth to retort, but he just waved a ringed hand in her direction, as if he didn't care enough about her to bother looking at her. Almost immediately, Mary's mouth snapped shut and Allie had to bite down on her bottom lip to mask her smug grin.

"Look," Jax continued sharply. "I'll take care of it if you can't-"

"I don't appreciate your tone, Jackson," Mary snapped. "And I don't appreciate what you're implying."

Allie's eyes flitted to Jax next to her on the couch, waiting for the inevitable crash from across the room. In all the years she'd known him, Jax had never disrespected Mary outright, at least not to her face. He'd always been polite, if not distant, even though Mary had always barely veiled her disdain for Opie's delinquent best friend who was just leading him down the wrong path. Not like Opie's dad being part of an outlaw motorcycle club that sold guns illegally had anything to do with that. Not to mention the fact that the only adjective Mary could ever come up with to describe anyone she detested as 'delinquent'...she wasn't exactly as smart as she thought she was. Still, she was embarrassingly relieved to not be the object of Mary's wrath for once.

Jax shifted on the cushion, his jaw clenched, and he fisted a hand into his thigh. "What am I implying, Mary?"

"That I can't take care of my family," she lifted her chin and flicked her eyes pointedly at Allie. "I'm exactly where I should be, unlike-"

"Alright," Jax held up a hand again to silence her and Allie couldn't stop her lips from curving upward. "So, I'll get ahold of Donna's family."

"I'll call the funeral home," Allie chimed in quietly.

Jax barely had any time to acknowledge her input when Mary's entire body seemed to coil at the sound of her voice. Her face twisted with that evil gleam Allie knew so well and she felt herself take a quick inhale for strength. Arguing with Mary wasn't going to help anything and it would only serve to piss her off and raise her blood pressure. Besides, she couldn't imagine that telling Mary off would really make her feel any better, given the grim circumstances.

"I don't recall asking for your help, Alexandra. I can manage the details of the funeral just fine; Lord knows you'd just find a way to ruin it anyways, just like everything else," Mary spat at her viciously.

There was no stopping it now. Mary knew exactly what she was doing and knew exactly how to provoke the reaction she was looking for. It didn't matter that Jax had shifted protectively on the couch to shield her as much as possible and it definitely didn't matter that she'd regret this later; the inevitable eruption was finally here.

* * *

Jax felt it before he heard it. He'd known it was coming. He'd seen it in Mary's eyes the second she'd spewed that verbal abuse Allie's way. But after years of helping Ope run interference between his half-sister and his mother, he'd learned to be attuned to the signs of impending implosion. So, when Allie unleashed, he braced himself for the impact.

"Right," Allie laughed bitterly next to him on the couch. "I'm sorry, but I guess I missed the part where you actually took care of anyone-especially since your grandchildren were sitting by themselves, alone and crying, when I got here."

Mary's face flushed red and she leaned forward menacingly. "Don't bring them into this like that. What the hell is wrong with you? Besides, since Jackson obviously can't handle it, I need to go talk to the very same people who couldn't be bothered to come to Ellie's birthday party."

Having had enough, Jax held his hands out in the air to put some imaginary space between them, careful to hold his body to keep himself in front of Allie as much as possible. Just as he reached out to put a hand on Allie's shoulder, Allie opened fire one last time.

"Donna has family too, you know," Allie spat. "But I guess you wouldn't know what means, would you?"

Mary shot to her feet and jabbed a pointed finger at her face. "How dare you even…"

On reflex, Jax rose up from the couch in an effort to keep a buffer between them, but Mary had already turned on her heel to make an abrupt exit from the living room. Thankfully, Mary didn't slam the door and it was pretty much a miracle that Mary had actually exhibited the ability to think about someone other than herself for a change. Not wanting to spend anymore time thinking about Mary than necessary, Jax cast a quick glance over his shoulder to find Allie sitting stiffly on the couch. He could practically feel the seething rage and frustration rolling off of her and old habits kicked in almost instantaneously.

He lowered himself back down to the couch and rested a gentle hand on her shoulder. Allie flinched at the contact and he felt his heart twist in his chest. The last thing he wanted to do was cause her any more pain than she was already in, but the need to comfort her, to be there for her, always shot right up to the forefront whenever he was around her. Over the years, he'd gotten better at restraining himself, but every once and awhile, it just snuck up on him.

"Always gotta stir the pot, huh?" Piney's gruff voice called out from the other side of the living room.

Allie's bloodshot eyes shot up to her dad and her chest heaved violently when they made eye contact. Jax barely had a moment to react before Allie abruptly pushed up from the couch, fled through the kitchen, and out the patio door before he could as much stutter her name to stop her. He threw up his hands in defeat and narrowed his gaze at the old man still seated next to the TV, all stoic and self-righteous.

"Thanks for your help, Piney," he pushed out roughly with a shake of his head. "Appreciate it."

When the old man just lifted a callous shoulder, Jax let out one frustrated sigh and as he cast a quick glance into the hallway for any signs of movement, started through the kitchen to go after Allie. He'd just made it past the table when he felt his phone buzz in his back pocket. Blowing a deep breath, he dug it out of his pocket and closed his eyes at the name on the caller id. He didn't need her shit right now. He didn't need her guilting him into feeling like he should be with his son right now, and not his best friend and his family. He didn't need her to give him one more reason to feel like he couldn't come home at night. Wife was a pretty loose term for the woman currently trying to get a hold of him and he wasn't exactly interested in listening to Wendy's bullshit right now.

So, without as much as a second thought, he slid his prepay back into his pocket and stepped through the patio door. The sun had just started to peek through into dusk, giving the small furniture out onto the patio some nice illumination. That red morning glow seemed to spread right through the concrete and onto the bare skin of Allie's arms, shoulders, and cheeks. He sucked in a harsh breath at the sight and gave himself a moment to take her in.

For all the times she'd stolen the air right out of his lungs, this was by far the most captivating, if not inappropriate glimpses he'd caught of her. Circumstances dictated that he keep his distance-like they always did-but now, especially, he felt like an even bigger asshole than Piney, which was really saying something. She was in shock and valiantly scrambling to keep her shit together for her brother and his kids. He couldn't help but admire her strength, especially in the face of a vindictive, nonsensical antagonist like Mary Winston.

So standing here now, allowing the feelings he'd long buried rise up once again to the surface, was an even more egregious offense than all the times before. He'd seen more than enough of his fair share of verbal spars between her and Mary to know that Allie was out here now to keep herself from escalating the situation any further and basically, to be the adult where Mary couldn't.

Still, a fucking blind man could see how beautiful she looked right now, even when she was pissed as hell. Maybe because she was pissed as hell. That fire, the same one sparking off of her right now, always had a way of getting under his skin and if he was smart, he'd turn around right now and go check on Ope and the kids. But all sense of logic and reason failed him as her lush chestnut hair glimmered in the sunlight. When those chocolate eyes lifted up from the concrete to settle directly on him, he knew escaping back into the kitchen was a lost cause.

He'd narrowly avoided her siren call too many times to count, but this morning, he could already feel himself sinking into the water.

And when those same chocolate eyes squeezed shut and her head dipped into her knees, his feet were carrying him towards her before he even knew what he was doing. When she was still a kid, comforting her had never made him feel like a dirty old man. Even though they were only separated by three years, it was enough of an age difference to matter. Given that he was 18 when he'd first recognized how beautiful and how spirited she was, lusting after a 15-year-old wasn't exactly ideal. Getting his ass beaten to a pulp _and_ getting his ass thrown in jail for statutory rape did not appeal to him. As if Allie being his best friend's kid sister wasn't bad enough. So, keeping his distance had been fairly easy at first. But as she got older and her world got a little smaller, it became increasingly difficult to stay in the background.

The schism in the Winston household had started right around the time Allie's biological mother showed up on their doorstep after 12 years and stupidly expected some semblance of parental rights. Having believed that Mary was her mother, Jax guessed the combined shock of realizing that her actual birth mother was a coked out stripper from Reno and realizing she'd also been lied to her entire life had been more than enough to send Allie down the rabbit hole.

Opie, being the loyal man he was, had naturally taken Allie's side in the whole mess and even took a swing at Piney to prove it. He hadn't wanted to believe it but, as Opie had told him later, he could only remember Allie suddenly being in their house-there'd been nothing else, no happy declarations that he was going to have a baby sibling, no baby showers, no visiting Mary in the hospital after Allie was born, she was just...there. The fracture in their family, and in Allie, had stuck firmly in place.

It was a miracle she made it a whole year before the downward spiral started; he and Ope had never been able to figure it out, but around the time she turned 16, something in her just snapped. That was when the sneaking out started, which led to the drinking and the guys-or 'friends' as she described them. And eventually, the drugs.

Once shit had really hit the fan in the Winston household, it was hard to stay away or, at the very least, not tag along whenever Opie had to whisk his sister away from whatever she'd gotten herself into just to make sure she was alright. Jax had lost count the number of times they'd had to drop everything to bail her out of a shitty situation, whether it be because of booze, drugs, or a guy getting a little too 'friendly' and each time, it got harder and harder to just stand by and watch. But they could only run interference between Allie and Charming PD for so long and eventually, Piney started getting calls from Unser.

The downward spiral had only escalated from there, resulting in screaming matches and botched interventions until Piney had all but washed his hands of his only daughter. It wasn't until Ope, Donna, and he sat her ass down and convinced her to go to rehab that things started to turn around for her. By the time she was released, she was old enough to leave Charming in her dust, which was particularly devastating for Ope, who felt like he'd failed her.

With all the bad shit that had gone down in her life and all the shitty hands she'd been dealt, Jax couldn't exactly blame her for the stupid decisions she'd made as a teenager. From what he could tell, Mary had never once shown Allie an ounce of love or understanding, like a mother should. Instead, she'd been met with accusation and loathing at every turn and Mary never wasted an opportunity to tell Allie exactly what she thought of her. Yet somehow, ten years later, she seemed to have put the pieces back together, despite what she'd left behind in Charming.

Leaving this town was the key, of course, and she'd told him once that it was the best decision she'd ever made. A fresh start and a clean slate was exactly what she'd needed and he'd be lying to himself if part of him didn't hold out hope that she'd eventually come back for good. Seeing her for holidays and the kids' birthdays wasn't really enough.

Who the fuck was he kidding anyway? He had a two-month-old at home, who'd literally just come home from the hospital the night before, along with a junkie who claimed to be sober and who was still technically his wife. He had no right to feel any sort of claim to Allie. He had no right to feel anything towards her other than affection as his best friend's little sister.

But the problem was he'd stopped seeing her as his best friend's little sister a long time ago. And he wasn't doing himself any favors by sitting next to her on the patio now. Yet, here he was, folding down into the chair next to her and hoping that, just like every other time before, he'd be able to help her now and still keep his demons at bay.

"Al," he started, falling back on using the familiar childhood nickname that kept him in check. "Don't listen to that old bitch, okay? She doesn't know shit."

Allie laughed and pulled her knees up into her chest. "Yeah, I know. Thanks."

Flashing her a quick grin, he shifted on the chair to dig for his cigarette pack. He held the back out to her and when she brought one between her lips, he brought his lighter up to help her out. After he lit up his own, they sat there in silence for a few moments, just staring into the backyard filled with Ellie and Kenny's toys and his heart sunk at the thought of the kids sleeping yards away from them.

He leaned back into his chair and blew out a heavy ring of smoke. "I don't know about you, Al, but I'm not really sure what we're supposed to do here."

She just lifted a shoulder, flitting her dark eyes to him for just a moment before shifting them back to the yard just as quickly. "I know what you mean. I've never seen Ope like this before…he didn't even seem like he was really there."

Jax squeezed his eyes shut as the image of Opie cradling his wife's dead body rushed over him. All the blood...the pieces missing of Donna's skull...the devastation. He knew that image would haunt him for the rest of his life. Of all the fucked up, horrible shit he'd seen in his time with Samcro, that was by far the most horrifying. Seeing his best friend sobbing over his wife's body...he'd never felt more helpless in his life and that included watching his newborn son being wheeled into the OR.

That image, coupled with what he suspected about the circumstances surrounding Donna's murder, left him nearly speechless. He hadn't been kidding when he'd said he didn't know what to do. While he wasn't sure what had gone down between when Donna had left his house to when they'd found her in the street, he didn't doubt that connecting the dots from Stahl all the way up to Donna's dead body would lead him right to Clay. But right now, it was easier to push his suspicions aside and keep the well-being of his best friend and his kids at the forefront. Someday soon, those suspicions would have to be revisited, if only for his own sanity, but today was not that day.

"I just can't believe she's really gone…" Allie's choked voice called out to him as she brought the cigarette back up to her lips with a shaky hand. "I just talked to her yesterday and all she could talk about was Abel's party and how excited she was to see him."

His lips curved up into a soft smile, but it slipped off his face as soon as it came. Donna had finally seemed to come around about the club and Ope's involvement in it, especially since it seemed like all that shit with Stahl was finally behind them and the club. None of it made any sense and nothing about this was what Donna deserved. She should be safe in her house right now with her husband and kids, not in a fucking morgue.

"Nothing about this makes any sense," she whispered, echoing his thoughts.

Jax nodded sadly and flicked the spent bud into the grass at his feet. "Yeah, I know what you mean."

Allie followed suit, taking one last long drag before sending the spent cherry in the same direction his had taken.

"I shouldn't let her get to me," she told him quietly. "I know that...but every time that fucking woman opens her mouth, I just wanna punch her in the face."

In spite of the circumstances, Jax chuckled lightly, resisting the urge to wrap an arm around her shoulder. "Hey, I don't blame ya. I kinda feel the same way, you know?"

She shot him a quick grin and he hated himself for the way his heart flip-flopped and twisted in his chest.

"Well," she went on quietly. "What's going on inside that house right now isn't about me and Mary's old shit. I think we just need to be there for Ope and the kids any way we can."

With a solemn nod, he exhaled deeply and leaned back into his chair. "How do we do that, Al?"

"I'm not sure," she replied, her eyes glassy. "But I think we should start with the things that need to happen now...you call Donna's family and I'll start figuring out what needs to happen for the funeral and then we check on the kids."

He shot her a grim smile and knew she was right. This wasn't the type of call he'd ever thought he'd have to make, but since Opie clearly wasn't in any position to do it himself, he needed to step up and do what needed to be done to help his best friend.

So, he pushed up on his feet and then held out his hand to help Allie out of her chair. He figured, given the situation and the fact that they'd known each other since her biological mother dropped her off at the Winstons' doorstep when she was three, that he wouldn't be overstepping his carefully-drawn boundaries by taking her hand right now. But when her tiny, soft hand slid into his much bigger, calloused one, it was hard to mask the jolt that shot through him at her touch.

Her dark eyes widened when their skin made contact and for a brief moment, he worried that he'd breached the tentative hold on the control he'd somehow managed to maintain for the last 12 years. But as Allie rose to her feet and he found himself staring down at her tiny frame, he knew he had bigger problems than worrying that he'd overstepped.

Because now, as Allie stared right back up at him with her soft, chocolate eyes, the problems he'd pushed away for years, the same ones that encompassed all the things wrong with his feelings concerning Ope's little sister, had just multiplied by about a hundred.

* * *

**A/N-I'm sure you guys have figured it out already, but one of the central issues in this story is going to be Jax and Allie reconciling their feelings for each other and what that means for their lives and the people in them (mainly, Wendy, Abel, Opie, and Gemma). I'm really, really looking forward to writing Gemma differently than in the "Carry Your Heart" stories because let me tell you, Gemma's gonna be none too happy to see Jax and Allie getting closer, as we'll see in the next chapter at Donna's funeral. **

**I know the whole Opie-has-a-sister storyline has been done before, but I think this is a different take on it. Allie isn't without her flaws and her past troubles will always be at the forefront, but I don't think Jax is exactly innocent either, especially since Wendy and Abel are in the mix. If you're wondering, Tara isn't going to show up here. This is already going to get complicated enough without adding her into it. **

**So anyways, sorry for the longer A/N notes, but I figured I had to explain myself ;) Look for the next chapter to "Carry You Home" next week!**

**I'm really, really looking forward for your feedback on this. Any thoughts/comments/suggestions/predictions you have will be awesome as usual! Thanks for reading!**


End file.
